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Open Source Heroes – Part III

Part I briefly lays out the premise that the world of comic books could use another superhero comic book universe. In Part II I explain to Bob and Jerry Comicreator why the two most likely paths to creating a universe from whole clothe wouldn’t likely work for them, setting the stage for Part III…

Bob, Jerry, I know you’re asking what this mysterious Third Way is. Or maybe after reading the title of this little series you’ve sort of figured it out. The idea is simply to create a new superhero universe using well-established Open Source methodology.

The Open Source culture finds its roots in the software industry, not unlike myself. A lot of people get credit for helping the movement reach its current lofty status, but for my money the guy you have to give the lifetime achievement award to is Linus Torvalds, the driving force behind the Linux operating system, arguably the most prominent and successful Open Source project to date. 

Don’t nod off here boys, I promise not to lapse into a droning discourse on the relative merits of various operating systems. Just know that in the mid ‘90’s as Linux was picking up steam very few people on the corporate side of the OS aisle gave it much heed and certainly no chance for ever finding foothold with paying customers. The damn thing was written by a bunch of hobbyists, who in their right mind was going to trust mission critical applications to that? Lo and behold, by 1999 Linux had scooted past Novell to become number two in server OS share behind this little mom and pop operation out of Redmond, Washington. While it hasn’t necessarily gone on to world domination (don't tell them that), it’s still in wide use across companies of all shapes and sizes. And it’s still largely free. Unless you need competent help maintaining it, but that’s another story.

How might this translate to the world of comic books? First, let’s define the goal: You want to create a whole new universe of superheroes; superheroes that interact, form teams, share a common world history and most importantly, tell fun and interesting stories. You want this universe to take on a life of its own where other creators can easily step in and add to the lore. You want to be able to take advantage of all the familiar archetypes but check the baggage on a one-way flight to Latveria. And you’d preferably like to do all this without putting your lawyer’s kids through college. You don’t even want to know if your lawyer has kids. Truly, you don’t really want to know a lawyer period.

Now the two of you could probably create this universe all by yourselves between shifts at Costco, but then it would be the Bob and Jerry Show, with your limited influences and biases smelling up the joint. And that’s probably okay to start but if you want this thing to take off you’ll need more people involved and quickly. Now here comes the tricky part, this new universe needs to be foundationally strong, yet flexible, it needs to be tightly coupled, but loosely bound. It needs to be attractive to creators of all influence yet structured in a way that stories emanating from it are recognizable as such. A tall order, to be sure, too tall to adequately elaborate on here.

Okay, that’s the 10,000 foot view. That’s the pie-in-the-sky discussion you have after plowing another $40 into Marvel and DC’s respective continuity bandwagons. Sure that stuff is okay, but wouldn’t it be cool if… For a moment, let’s come back down to Earth, let’s sort out some particulars. I’m not much of a details guy, but let’s see what we can do with this. First, you need to decide how you’re going to “publish”. Remember, we’re talking about a universe of titles here not a four issue Gadgetguy miniseries so let’s be honest, floppies are pretty much out of the question at this stage. I shouldn’t have to explain the slippery slope of direct market distribution and marketing but if you need a primer head over to this archive of Brian Hibbs’ Tilting at Windmills columns. The short story is that if you were actually able to produce say six or seven monthly comics there is little chance you’d be able to get them in front of the your best initial demographic. You might have better luck with the graphic novel format but those take time to produce. It could take years to cobble together the few books which will big bang your universe. May I suggest the web?

There are certainly sites which could host your webcomics for free or at least on the very cheap, but it might be to your advantage to carve out your own domain and host everything related to your universe in one, focused location. You can simultaneously build universe specific secondary services (advertising, forums, licensed underwear sales) and content (backstories, forums, a universe bible) around the comics themselves while creating a little separation from the plethora of existing webcomics. If you were going to create a single ongoing title I wouldn’t recommend this, but we’re talking a universe here, right? Of course you also divorce yourself from built-in traffic an existing webcomics hosts might provide, but that’s okay because you are going to overcome that with aggressive, tireless self-promotion. (Hey, did I mention I own a software and application hosting company? Under the right circumstances I might even be persuaded to provide some free bandwidth and tools to facilitate this effort.) This will also give you the opportunity to get your print act together as you build your audience.   

Next up you are going to need some talent beyond the two of you. Your best shot at pulling this off is to engender support from a group of like-minded creators. Likely you’re all going to be starting out -- don’t count on Kurt Busiek or Bryan Hitch showing up at the first meeting -- and that’s okay. If you set your web platform up correctly you can draw from widely dispersed talent, maybe even use the site to connect artists and writers. It might take a bit of time, but since nearly everyone who reads comics thinks they’re a writer or an artist, maybe not. If the initial infrastructure is solid, from both a technical and creative standpoint, you’ll probably be surprised at the response. But dig your well first and line up four or five creative teams to get things going. And let’s hope there’s an editor somewhere in the bunch.

One final note on trademarks, copyrights and the like. Open Source doesn’t necessarily mean free. Sure you’d love for other creators to expand on the Gadgetguy mythology, maybe add a clever sidekick, Wrench, or his secret lair, the GadgetGarage, but the fact that you open up Gadgetguy to other creators doesn’t necessarily mean some schmuck can run off and publish Gadgetguy, The Dark Tool, without your permission. To this end I encourage you to become familiar with Creative Commons, particularly the licenses page. Done right, you can have your cake and share it too.   

Now, let me be clear, this is only one possible alternative mechanism for producing an alternative universe, and I haven’t the time or inclination to think about explain all the nitty, gritty details. The basic concept is fairly simple, the execution, not so much. As with any creative effort much depends on your own passion and determination - remember, I’m just the ideas man.   

The Life and Times of Squadron Supreme – Part I

Squadron Sinister and Squadron Supreme

In late 1969 Squadron Sinister made its first appearance in the pages of the AVENGERS. It was issue 69 to be exact and they turned up in the first of a three part story arc involving an obscure Avenger’s villain known as Kang the Conqueror (what ever happened to him?) and the Grandmaster. The Grandmaster created them by changing the personal histories of several Earth men (or in Hyperion's case, a subatomic man) so they would become Nighthawk, Hyperion, Whizzer and Dr. Spectrum - all thinly veiled analogs for certain high profile JLA’ers. Comic historians note this as the first recognizable instance of retconning.

As plotted by Roy Thomas, the Avengers would battle the Squadron Sinister on Kang’s behalf to save the Earth. The Avengers version of Earth, that is. Guess who wins? After this Squadron Sinister would split up and bop around the Marvel Universe trying to destroy the Earth, battle various Marvel heroes, pretend to be Wanda and Pietro’s father (wait, sorry, different Whizzer), battle the Defenders, join the Defenders, and, on occasion, die. (Issue number 71 of the AVENGERS also debuted the classic Invaders team of Captain America, Sub-mariner and the Human Torch. Not a bad few months work for Rascally Roy.)

In AVENGERS 85-86 (Feb/Mar 1971) the Squadron is back. But it’s a different Squadron as the Avengers (well, Quicksilver, Wanda, Vision and Goliath) have been transported to a parallel universe where the Squadron Supreme fights for good instead of evil. (Apparently the Grandmaster’s prior dealings with this Squadron, prompted him to try and recreate them in his earlier contest with Kang. I’m not surprised it didn’t work. We all know what happens when you try to copy a copy.)  This group includes a few new JLA analogs: Tom Thumb, American Eagle, Lady Lark and Hawkeye (no confusion since the Avenger’s Hawkeye is Goliath and Goliath is Yellowjacket). This time the Avengers -- along with the help of Nighthawk -- are trying to stop the launch of a solar rocket set to cause a supernova, consuming the Squadron’s Earth. The Squadron has been duped into launching the rocket by a character called Brain-Child. Once again the Avengers must battle the Squadron. Guess who wins?

Eventually the two teams work together to over come Brain-Child and the Avengers are retuned to their own dimension. Or are they? Cue Twilight Zone theme…

The Squadron Supreme would stay in their own universe until AVENGERS 141-144, 147-148 (1975-76).  This plot is somewhat convoluted, involving Patsy Walker, her ex-husband Buzz Baxter (both of Marvel humor comics fame), President Nelson Rockefeller and a really ugly green snake hat. Somehow the hat has created an evil mind-meld between the wearers in various universes. The hat has reportedly been worn by most of the CEO’s on the Avenger’s Earth (and several on ours judging by Enron, WorldCom, Global Crossing, etc.). Cap has had a run-in with the hat and has traced it back to the Red Skull. He’s followed the Skull's men to Roxxon Oil and enlists the Avengers (he’s been on sabbatical and out of touch) to help him breach a top secret research facility where they run smack into a Squadron Supreme guard detail.

While the Squadron is pretty clear that they aren’t Sinister this time around, judging by these two covers, Marvel wasn't so sure:

Maybe this comment from the Whizzer threw them off:

“Sold out”??!! But…I thought they we’re like the Justice League. They can’t sell out. And that's more than one syllable. Wait, there’s more…

Why…why, they’re worse than sinister, they’re capitalists!

And then Cap takes the Whizzer out with his patented Boomerang Shield Maneuver. There’s also a very cool fight scene where the Vision proves he is, in fact, the baddest Avenger on the block. The whole thing is quite Airwolf, to borrow from a certain well-known comic blogger, currently celebrating his one year anniversary.  The Avengers escape back to their own universe, with the snake helmet, leaving the Squadron to deal with a mild crisis of conscience.

Before I forget, this stint gave us the Amphibian, saw American Eagle become Cap’n Hawk, updated Hawkeye’s name to Golden Archer and his appearance to a more Green Arrow-like countenance, and introduced “Rocket Central” the Squadron’s orbiting satellite headquarters and winner of the 1976 award for Worst Secret Headquarters Name. In issue 147 Hyperion also mentions his “arch-foe, Burbank” -- who becomes more important under the JMS Squadron -- and is clearly a Lex Luthor reference. (Lex Luthor, Emil Burbank – clearly taken from that evil early 20th century botanist, Luther Burbank.)

Also of note, issue #141 marked George Perez’s first appearance on the title.

Because any good story is worth retconning, in 1989, in the pages of AVENGERS WEST COAST ANNUAL #4 and WEB OF SPIDER-MAN ANNUAL #5, Mark Gruenwald would write a sort of wrap-around story where he tied up a several loose ends and introduced Zatanna doppelganger, Arcanna, into the story. These are among the few Squadron books I don’t have, but you can read an account of them here.

Squadron Supreme and the Defenders

You probably know Gruenwald as the writer most frequently attached to the Squadron Supreme, thanks to a well-received 1985 SQUADRON SUPREME maxiseries. But before getting to that I have to mention The Squadron’s late 1982 appearance in THE DEFENDERS – issues 112-114 to be precise. The story, penned by J.M. DeMatteis, finds the Defenders magically transported to the Squadron’s Earth where they discover a dying Hyperion, their own Earth’s Nighthawk (who the Defenders thought dead) and a planet taken over by the Over-Mind via control of Kyle Richmond (The Squadron’s Nighthawk) who has left the SS and became President.

When Richmond invokes martial law and starts jailing innocents the Squadron resists but are quickly assimilated by the Over-Mind. (Notice a trend here?) Hyperion resists, but is forced underground, poisoned by concentrated Argonite (think Kryptonite) rays being pumped into the atmosphere. The Defenders help Hyperion back to health and then defeat the Over-Mind (with the aid of a supernatural creature called “Mindy” - seriously) and of course battle the Squadron in the process. In the end President Richmond turns out to be an alien doppelganger and the Nighthawk who thought he was from the Defenders’ Earth is actually from the Squadron’s.

I’m sure I speak for a lot of people when I say, “Waaaa?” And I don’t have issue 115 to see what exactly happened although my understanding is that the Squadron’s Nighthawk came back to the Defenders’ Earth and assumed that Earth’s Nighthawk mantle, and later died. But I couldn’t testify to that, at least without the aid of some Advil and a stiff Scotch.   

This is among the weakest of the various Squadron Supreme stories, but it does introduce a few new Squadroners: Arcanna Jones (despite Gruenwald’s previously mentioned update of the AVENGERS 141-145, 147-148 arc, this is her first official appearance – in this one she even uses Zatanna’s backward incantations), the Power Princess from Utopia Island, and Nuke, the er, Nuclear Man. As an interesting side note, the story arc which began in THE DEFENDERS #112 marked DeMatteis’ official, full-time take over of the scripting chores from none other than Gruenwald. There’s some evidence that Gruenwald set the table for this Squadron arc as well, as it actually kicked off in issue #109 when Daimon Hellstrom, Sub-Mariner, Dr. Strange and Bruce Banner are transported to the Squadron’s dimension.

Coming in Part II – Kicking off the modern Squadron era with the Gruenwald Limited Series, New World Order and Ultimate Squadron Supreme.

Power Pack

One of my oldest son’s comic book purchases last year was a cartoonish kid’s book from Marvel called POWER PACK. I assumed Power Pack -- four superpowered siblings conveniently carrying the surname Powers -- to be a relatively new creation, but then I ran across these as I was sorting through in ill-advised eBay acquisition (which I mentioned sometime back):

Power Pack has been around for over 20 years! Yes, I'm out of touch. But I think we all knew that.

I read a few of these and they really aren’t bad although it is difficult to figure out for which market the book was aiming. The plots and narrative are a bit too abstract for young kids (at least in places) but it’s difficult to imagine an adult (particularly your garden variety superhero comic book reader) interested in the ongoing adventures of four children. But hey, the book ran for seven years, so what do I know?

The books are extremely dialog heavy, with constant bickering a major theme. As a father of three youngsters I can attest to the accuracy of this but the various writers never quite capture how creative young kids can be in their verbal assaults. And then one of the kids will toss of a line like, “The probability is so small as to be infinitesimal,” or utter some age-old exclamation along the lines of “good grief” or “for pete’s sake” - somewhat different than the "nooo, you poopy-head" and "stupid macaroni-brain" I hear tossed around my household. Art-wise, the books start out decent enough -- June Brigman in particular has a knack for drawing children -- but deteriorates dramatically as the series progresses. Every issue seems to end with the group being captured by a lizard-like alien race who don't like the Powers kids because they're somehow connected to a cute, horsey-like alien race. It all has greater intergalactic ramifications that my six issue sampling doesn't begin to explore. 

An interesting Power Pack note is that it was the first Marvel comic entirely created by women, coming from writer Louise Simonson and artist Brigman. Has there been one since? Not sure what Simonson is up to these days, but Brigman currently draws the daily Brenda Starr strip.

Given Marvel’s recent plans to develop their own movie properties, Power Pack seems a likely choice for an animated treatment. (Apparently there was a live action pilot created back in 1991.) I think it would do well with the Powerpuff/Power Ranger set, particularly if it were an ongoing series. The all-ages comic pictured in the center above was by far my two sons favorite among several we picked up over the summer. Kids like stories about other kids, especially superPowered ones.

Marvel Glasses & Cups

You have any of these at home? Back in the mid-seventies you could buy Slurpees at 7-11 that came in Marvel superhero cups and sometimes glasses. How great is that? No other purchase required, but come on, you were really there for the comics, right?

I have several variations of these, with my earliest batch dating back to 1975. These cups simply had pictures of the characters. I got about a dozen of these and for some reason they’re mostly B-listers. As I recall in those days the clerk actually poured the Slurpee so you didn’t have a lot of control over what cup you got. I seem to remember trying to explain to a very patient clerk just what a "Quicksilver" -- a favorite character of mine at the time, for reasons long lost -- looked like.

The1977 cups are far more elaborate. I have about 30 of these including most every main Marvel character. Most of the big names (Spider-Man, FF, Hulk, etc.) Got two or three cups in this run.

Some of the cups had scenes pulled right out of the books themselves. The bitch’en factor went off the charts if you happened to own the book the picture came from. A No-Prize to the first person who can name what issue the FF scene was in.

According to this informative web site there are about 40 different cups total. I thought the writer’s comment that the X-men cup may be notable as possibly the first licensed appearance of the new X-men was plausible, given the climate for that sort thing at that time. Anyone know otherwise? I don't remember the DC cups. I would surely have increased my Slurpee intake for those as well.

I know one of the things I liked best about these was seeing so many of the lesser known characters on cups. (Which may be why I have so many B-listers from the 1975 batch.) It somehow validated collecting them knowing it wasn't just about Hulk and Spider-Man, although I'm sure a lot of kids were wondering who the heck Nova was.

So when does that ULTIMATE CHAMPIONS book come out anyway?

Not one but two Howard the Duck cups? Again, greatness. That cup on the right must not have been rinsed out, it’s pretty nasty inside; clearly root beer Slurpee residue. That was my favorite flavor - still is.

There were also some glasses issued with that 1977 set, using the same pictures as on the cups. I only have six of these but you’ll note they are in almost pristine condition. My Mom, bless her heart, suggested I hand wash them because she thought the screening might fade in the dishwasher. Mom’s are great too.   

I guess these have some collectible value, but so far I’ve resisted my wife’s pleas to put them on eBay. So they’ll stay boxed in the attic until I can find a fitting use for them. Or until we move. 

Avengers Annual #7 & Marvel Two-In-One Annual #2 – Part 2

In Part One we looked at Avengers Annual #7, the first installment the big Thanos/Warlock finale, and now we’re on to the story's conclusion in MARVEL TWO-IN-ONE ANNUAL #2.

We start with another recap (albeit slightly quicker) where we actually learn a few new things, such as:

“Once inside the ark, Mar-Vel managed to destroy a device which would have set out sun nova, but then collapsed from the effort it required.”

Wait just a minute True Believers! Let’s revisit the actual panel from AVENGERS ANNUAL #7:

Methinks Captain Marvel may be getting a wee bit too much credit for his efforts. I sense his agents were on the line complaining about the backseat he took in the Avengers Annual, clearly leading to a little script revision in this issue.

We also find out, all in flashback mind you, that after that initial setback at the end of AA #7, Thanos was able to defeat the Avengers and begin plans anew to destroy the sun. Do I even need to mention that the two pages Starlin used to move the plot forward would be a six issue mini-series today? Didn’t think so.

So now Lord Chaos and Master Order are forced to bring in the reserves: Spider-man and The Thing. Who are Chaos and Order? Well, they’re plot devices that allow Spider-man and Thing to be dragged in to the tale. Just pretend like they were in the last issue.

First we get a nice bit of interaction between Thing and Spidey.

I like Starlin’s handling of this. He shows a humorous touch he doesn’t often expose and he’s got a nice feel for the Spidey-Thing relationship which should very naturally be similar to the relationship between Ben and the  Human Torch.

Ben co-opts one of Reed’s space shuttles (the FF have these things lying around like rent-a-cars) and they fly off into space and find…

Yeah, that.

Thankfully, instead of simply blasting them out of the sky, which would have made for a real short annual, Thanos uses a tractor beam to pull them in. They battle some minions with enough success that Thanos has to unveil the dreaded Stage Zero Environment! As Thanos directs his troops - over what looks like your garden variety stage mike - Thing recognizes his voice and correctly predicts things may take a turn for the worse for he and Spidey. I’m not sure how Thing was able to tell it was Thanos without those thick squiggly lines around Thanos’s dialogue box that were used throughout the Avengers Annual but have disappeared completely here. Thanos is somehow less menacing without that.

Thing and Spidey are brought before Thanos for the industry standard gloat session which leads to another brief and unfruitful battle. Thing gets knocked out -- again -- and Spidey escapes. Now it turns out that Spidey and Thing were mere pawns of Chaos and Order, put into play to distract Thanos while they work on a more permanent solution – resurrecting Adam Warlock. This is actually one of my favorite passages from the story because it reinforces the idea that Spider-Man is more than just a guy who happened to be bitten by a radioactive spider. Destiny and all that…

Spider-Man frees the Avengers, Benjy comes to, big battle scene…

Benjy and Thor square up on Thanos but, unsuprisingly at this point, Benjamin “Glass Jaw” Grimm goes down for the count, as does Thor. It’s Spidey who saves the day by finally destroying the “globe” that contained the Soul Gem and releasing Warlock who then dispatches Thanos and returns to the Soul Gem.

I love that sequence.

It’s a credit to Starlin that this story holds up so well. Thanos is a great villain and his motivation, destroying stars to please Death, gives him a certain evil nobility. I would have thought Starlin would make an effort to have The Thing be the hero of the story rather Spidey – it’s his book after all – but Benjy is a generous guy and I’m sure was happy to share the spotlight. I think there was only three ongoing Spider-Man books at the time so clearly Spidey needed more exposure.

I haven’t read any of Starlin's later work – any feedback as to the quality of the WARLOCK AND INFINITY WATCH series would be appreciated.

Avengers Annual #7 & Marvel Two-In-One Annual #2 – Part 1

If I had to put together a list of my top ten favorite storylines from when I was a kid the Warlock/Thanos arc across AVENGERS ANNUAL #7 and MARVEL TWO-IN-ONE #2 (from way back in 1977) would certainly be on it. First off, let me say that I used to love Annuals and Giant-Size issues. As a kid I’d buy annuals for books I didn’t even regularly read, like Thor and Hulk, just because they were "GIANT SIZE ANNUALS!" and usually involved a cool crossover of some kind – a self-contained crossover, not one of those messy deals that force you to buy 12 other titles to figure things out.  Back in the day the stories in these annuals were actually pretty good, not the showcase for extra-continuity crep they seemed to have become later. (Update: just picked up my the ULTIMATES 2 Annual – more on that later.)

The Warlock/Thanos saga had been going on for some time prior to wrapping up in these two annuals. But after the great Marvel title purge of the mid-seventies Warlock lost his own book forcing Jim Starlin to finish up the story here. It didn’t matter that I hadn’t read much Warlock or Captain Marvel and really didn’t even know who Thanos was, everything was pretty well explained in first 10 pages or so of AA #7. 

We pick up the story as Adam Warlock, following a trail of devastation, finds Thanos’ right-hand wench Zamora, dieing. He then sucks her soul into the Soul Gem and takes off “on quest most would find as difficult as casting a shadow on a mirror,” to stop Thanos’ effort to please Death by killing off all the stars. And we’re not talking Hollywood here. This naturally leads him to the Avengers. Unless this had been a Fantastic Four Annual, then it would have lead him to them, or the Defenders, or, well, anyway…

So it appears that Thanos’ armada is headed right for Earth and the Avengers are the only ones who can stop it (because it’s their Annual). Of course by this time Warlock has disappeared, leaving the Avengers to figure things out for themselves:

But hey, this is the 70’s – let’s just fly out there in MoonUnit’s ship and beat holy hell out of them anyway. Hopefully they are actually with Thanos and not the Universal Telefloral greeting committee. We do get one page of rather turgid contemplation:

I’m trying to figure out how Vision would “think”.

After a few panels of deep introspection, WHAMMO! We are kicking some alien tail. I think Starlin had fun drawing this page:

While the Avengers battle the minions, Warlock faces off against Thanos, which ends quick as we discover that Warlock made a little side trip to Taco Bell before heading out to meet Thanos:

And Warlock is dead. Now I’m sure Starlin wanted us to think it was Thanos that killed Adam Warlock but when Thor and Iron Man show up a few seconds later Thanos has to battle them hand-to-hand. So I’m pretty confident it was the Taco Bell. When Thanos’ Star Gem is destroyed he gets huffy and disappears. Meanwhile, Warlock gets absorbed by his own Soul Gem and gets to join all his past soul acquisitions in peace and harmony, which apparently involves foothills and purple skies.

 

Nice wrap up, Starlin. If you happen to miss MTIOA #2 you probably don’t feel shortchanged; the bad guy’s thwarted and we get a little emotional decoupage to send Warlock off with. Very well done. But wait! There’s more! Be sure to read part two later this week where we’ll fully explore…er…part two of the epic Thanos war.

The Inferior Five

The Inferior Five made their debut in Showcase No. 62, around May of 1966. Created by E. Nelson Bridwell and Joe Orlando, this was a group of not so super heroes who nevertheless attempted to fight crime, somehow managing to lampoon a wide number of real superheroes (mostly of the Marvel variety) of the day. The I-Five consisted of  Merryman, The Blimp, Dumb Bunny, Awkwardman and the White Feather. What powers they had were derived from their parents, who were thinly veiled copies of several of DC’s Golden Age heroes (I.E. Awkwardman’s dad is Superman Mr. Might and his mom Lori Lemaris the Mermaid), except that these offspring's genetic inheritance was ersatz, to say the least.   

This is was simply inspired stuff. I stumbled across some of them in a quarter bin when I was a kid and couldn’t resist the purchase. I've never read the complete run but the ones I did left an impression. Apparently the Inferior Five have made a number of cameo appearances in the DCU since their own title faded away in 1968, the latest being something called ANGEL AND THE APE from way back in 1991, as well as in CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS (supposedly in a crowd scene, but I can’t find ‘em). Somewhere along the line it was revealed that the Inferior Five were from Earth 12 (destroyed during the Crisis) but I assume they’re now somewhere in the DCU, just waiting for Grant Morrison to make them commercially viable.

I hadn’t thought about the I-Five until I ran across an article in an old (July 1981) issue of the COMICS FEATURE magazine while I was looking for my Treasury Edition version of SHAZAM. (Found it - more on that later.) This article reveals perhaps the most amazing thing about the I-Five: they were seriously considered for their own Saturday morning cartoon series. The article -- largely an interview with Mark Evanier -- can be read in its entirety here. I think an I-Five cartoon would hold up today, but I still watch old THUNDARR cartoons and maybe shouldn't be the judge. Should DC ever manage to put out a complete collection of the original Inferior Five books, I’ll be among the few first to buy it.

BatSpawn

Thought I’d dig into that wonderful treasure trove of eBay flotsam I mentioned awhile back and see what other jewels lied therein.

Well, looky here, not one but two versions of the Batman-Spawn team-up from way back in 1994, when the logic seemed to be, “When all else fails it’s time for a crossover.” Or two.

When I first pulled these out I thought they were variants of the same book, only later realizing they were completely different books, with completely different creative teams. So then I thought, “Wow, that Batman-Spawn crossover was so popular they had to do a follow-up. One of these must be really good.” Which only goes to show that I think too much. In reality this is some kind of DC/Image quid pro quo where DC produced the Batman/Spawn: War Devil version, with the creative team of Doug Moench, Chuck Dixon and Alan Grant writing and Klaus Janson doing basically all the art; and Image put out the Spawn/Batman book by way of Frank Miller and Todd McFarlane.

Let’s use our skills from English 1A to compare and contrast.

We would naturally expect a powerhouse duo like Miller and McFarlane to put out a far superior product to one that took three writers, yet only deserved one artist. Right? (Notice my clever attempt to downplay the creative efforts of one book, while secretly setting the other up for the fall.) Not so fast my friend! In fact, the Miller/McFarlane book is bad. Really bad. This may not be the worst Batman book of all time, but it’s in the team photo. Maybe it started with the book’s premise, an Elseworlds plot where a Batman with 70 less IQ points fights against, and then, surprise, with Spawn. First off, I’m not at all crazy about McFarlane’s blocky, Imaged-up Batman. And Miller’s script is horrid. Batman’s vocabulary is reduced to about 37 words, preeminent among them is “punk”, which Batman must use a dozen times in this slog. The story? Eh. It’s not a story it’s an excuse. Well, if they’re going to team up something’s gotta happen. Don’t bother me with details.Man, this thing stunk on rye. Of the two, this book should really have been the Batman/Spawn title so it would have carried the appropriate initials.

This picture pretty much sums things up:

Cro-Magnon Batman.

But hey kids, it's not a complete loss! In this one issue you get -- for no additional charge -- a full complement of nearly every sound effect ever used in the history of superhero comics! For one low, low price you'll get everything listed above plus: klang, shchakk, chudd, vmmmm, skrukk, thok, vreeee, poom, snap, blam, kludd, kunk, snak, ching, krakk, whokk, smek, koogh, whuk, thud, tunch, whap, kak, swak, krunch, rakka, whump, and much, much more! (Exclamation points included!!!!)

So was the DC book that much better? Well, yes in the sense that Three’s Company was better before Suzanne Somers left. Nobody is going to call it really good, but by comparison…

The art. I like what Klaus Janson has done here. His Batman reminds me of Jim Aparo’s, which I always enjoyed. His Spawn is serviceable. It’s hard to compare this Spawn to McFarlane’s, whose love for the character clearly shines through. And there’s actually a real, live plot here. Is it a plot worthy of the one-two-three punch of Moench, Dixon and Grant? Probably not, but for a one-shot it’s decent. Batman, and actually Spawn too, are far more believable here and there’s a nice little twist at the end that positions the story nicely within Spawn’s continuity.

Although the DC effort was okay, neither of these will inspire a return to the “glory days” of crossover books. I think we can all be thankful for that.

Read the Fine Print

Every so often I do something that in hindsight I’ll usually describe as an excellent learning experience, but in the here and now is most accurately described as “really dumb”. Case in point, several months back I bid on an eBay auction entitled “Huge Collection 1000 COMICS Silver/Bronze/Age comic lot”. There was about an hour left on the auction and it was sitting at about $150, shipping was $40. I figured if I could sneak in and win the thing for about $200 net, I’d snag a nice lot of books for around twenty cents each. So I wait until there’s about five minutes left and place my bid. Then some punk tries to snipe me and all of a sudden I'm getting beat by one dollar! One dollar??!! Have I ever mentioned how competitive I am? Five minutes later I won the auction for a total of $270, including shipping. Not exactly what I planned, but only another 70 bucks. It’s just a medium of exchange right?

1000 comics! 27 cents each! And it says right here that each lot may contain up to 1000 golden age, silver age…wait a minute, "may contain up to"...

After about two months and ten emails I finally got the guy to send enough boxes that the total number of books added up to about 850 – his guaranteed minimum had been 800, the first shipment contained 500 books, mostly junk. But I doggedly pursued my minimum money’s worth out of principle, which in my case is also a euphemism for “stubborn”. Besides, I never miss an opportunity to doggedly pursue something, they come so rarely.

But the lot was not without a few nuggets as well as head-scratchers. The head-scratchers are more fun. Like, Wildstorm Ultimate Sports: Official Program #1. 

Whose clever idea was this? And was there a second issue? This comic features one page vignettes of various WildStorm characters competing in the “inaugural WildStorm Ultimate Sports Games.” My biggest complaint is that it purports to be a program and yet there’s no schedule of events, venue maps or competitor lists. Not even a listing of televised events.  I’m guessing it aired on ESPN9, which would explain why I didn’t see it - that’s the only sports channel my dish doesn’t get. Another problem with this book is in many pictures the competitors are sans safety helmet. That’s just dangerous and a bad example for the kids at home.

Another oddity was the first issue of a book by Renegade Press called the WordSmith. It’s a black & white book that tells the story of a depression era pulp fiction writer. Reading the author’s note (David Darrigo) we discover that WordSmith is a bit of a love-letter to the pulps and “pulpeteers” with many of the details based on historical facts. For that reason alone I’d be interested in reading the balance of the books, even though this first issue isn’t dramatically compelling. There appears to have been 12 issues in all – if this page at Mile High Comics is any indication. And it showed up at number 95 in The Staros Reports guide to the top 192 Comic Books in the industry back in 1996/97. I’m honestly not sure what the value in that is, but being on anybody’s list is at least something to hang your hat on.

I also found this issue of Wild Cards:

This is issue number one from Epic Comics. The comic is based on a series of books by George R.R. Martin. The books are actually the collaborative efforts of a number of writers, and the comic is the same – with at least some of the writers pulling double duty. The funny thing to me is that I remember running across one of the books in a bookstore about ten years ago and at the time I thought it must have been based on a comic book. Turns out it’s the other way around. Digging a little deepr I found that the books may have developed out of a role playing game involving some of the authors.

The comic itself is engaging, although the art is a bit rough in patches, and there’s a definite sense of depth to the characters, but it comes with a nagging feeling that there’s a whole lot the reader hasn’t -- and may never be -- told. It presupposes a lot of knowledge leading me to think the comics were largely aimed at readers who had previously read the books.

I’m not sure what I’m going to do with all these comics. I’ll certainly read some of them, blog about them occasionally, maybe turn around and try to sell some of them on eBay -- there are pretty significant runs of Valiant titles in the mix -- but mostly they’ll sit in my attic, in boxes, waiting to be joined by my next impulse purchase.